Sunday Confessions

Hi! Long(ish) time no write/blog. I admit to having a slight bloggers' block/burnout the past couple of months particularly. But the vaguely warm weather and sunshine (it's still only like 50 something degrees here, but compared to some of my friends in the midwest I really can't complain!), do have me feeling a bit brighter and more energetic. I confess I don't really know what I'm going to "confess" this week so I am just stalling here...ok let's get to it!

I confess: Ok so I have gotten back into the gym. Yay me go girl blah blah blah right? Um I guess so, I do feel better when I get those exercise endorphins a few times a week. Except the more I go to the gym, the more annoying weird gym rat with pet peeves that only people who go to the gym type person I become. Like...earlier this week there was this musclehead dude just sitting at a weight machine (are they called machines? I don't know!), anyway it was the overhead pull the crowbar behind your back thingy, which I really like to use sometimes. And this guy was just using it as...a bench, to lift free weights on. And he was just so huge and body builder gross muscly* and I felt too intimidated to say "Um dude what the hay?" because he was seriously on it for like twenty minutes (I did 15 minutes of rowing, then like three more weight machines before he finally shifted).

Of course anytime I start to use something the musclehead dudes like to use like the resistance pulley thingys (um I really need to learn the words for gym equipment!), it always feels like two minutes in and they are hovering on me, asking me how many "sets" I have left. "I am going to lift this thingy at the lowest weight setting which I know you are judging me for until my back hurts so back off okay jerk?! is what I want to say. Grrr! There is a definite weird undertone at the gym sometimes, there are some seriously gorilla sized men who mostly stick to the free weights section, which to be honest I avoid because I literally find that much overamped testosterone nauseating. But sometimes as a woman I do feel intimidated/like I don't have as much of a "right" to use certain machines because I am not exploding my veins and grunting or whatever.

I confess: Saying all that I have gotten more into it, I had a personal trainer session last week, this nice young trainer girl sort of cornered me for a survey and we ended up chatting and I admitted I had never had a real induction because I am a scaredy cat and she just had a really chill vibe so I agreed to do one with her (I also told her I am not about that diet and weight loss life when she asked about my "goals"), which admittedly she did seem a little confused by, but she had the good grace to not push it or bring it up again.

So yeah, she taught me how to use the pulley thingy's** and finessed some of my technique on the other machines and I have actually signed up for one of her classes this week. I do feel more empowered knowing how to do a few more things, although when she showed me the power plate at my request she admittedly had no idea what to do with it and we both had a few nanoseconds of intense vibrations and started giggling uncontrollably, seriously how do people use them?!

I do feel like being ever so slightly less isolationist at the gym will make it a more positive experience for me, traditionally I had a gym buddy or class buddy in previous exercise pursuits so I feel like taking a few classes will probably do me good. I do still get this weird "imposter syndrome" feeling  though, being a body positive, non body shrinking obsessed person, I feel like the classes will probably have some unhelpful to anyone not in that diet culture life chat, but I am a bit bored with my routine at this point so I want to shake it up a bit.

I confess: I'm really sorry but it's another gym/exercise type thing. I have become addicted to buying workout clothes. It has reignited my inner shopaholic. I think it might be that there are so many different colours and prints to choose from, it makes a fun change from my fairly humdrum feeling wardrobe. I was psyched to find these oversize t-shirts that cover my lady lumps this week at Matalan (they are much bigger than they look online, I bought an xl and had to return, the large is even slightly big on me so if you like things more fitted size down).

While I am getting more adventurous with leggings, and the body positive mindset has quelled my inner critic quite a bit, I do still have low confidence some days so it's it's important that I have things I feel covered up/comfortable in. I am also loving the wide array of colourful leggings available on Amazon, I have had good luck with the Neonysweets range, for around half the cost of most high street stores it does make me want to keep buying all of the colours of the rainbow (um yeah I am so going to be that girl who just wears exercise clothes at this rate, regardless of if I am gymming it that day or not).

I confess: ok a really gross one. I have an ingrown hair on my chin (I think?!). Otherwise it's just a neverending zit. I can't get rid of, it's driving me nuts. I keep looking at these quite expensive lotions for them but it seems 50/50 that they actually work. I think it might just be cheaper to go to my beautician and have her excise it? Ugh, so mortifying.

Sunday blog share linking up with Becky at the United States of Becky

* Ok so being a body positive person I have to say that all bodies are good bodies right I know this. But um...bodies that are (seemingly) mutated with steroids or god knows what  freak me out still, sorry. 

**That is what I meant! 


  1. The gym rats and weird equipment would totally intimidate me!!! But yay you for just keep doing your thing.

    I shaved my legs the other day, and the hair growing out of a mole I have on my leg above my knee was like three inches long 😮 I never shave above my knees but you would think I would have noticed before it got that long, ha. That's like months of growth!!!

    1. Oh mole hair is a whole other thing, I relate! Why are bodies so weird? I miss ankle hairs too sometimes, it's a lewk! ;-)

    2. And knees, they are just a bloodbath waiting to happen! :-o